Rumble in the Jungle

The new man in my life made the biggest mistake last night. We were laying there, wrapped up in the blankets trying to get to sleep and he rolled over and asked me the most typical question, "What are you thinking about?". Now, you know how at the start of a new relationship, you always want to know what is swirling around in your partners thoughts, hoping they will give you some perfect answer like, "I'm thinking about how much I love you" or "I just want to rip my clothes off and make love to you" or anything else that possibly runs along the usual thought patterns at 12.30am. You hope they are having the same thoughts as you, usually spurring on some crazy passionate moment that only can come from you asking that simple question.

With me...... this doesn't happen. To those who know me, It would come as no surprise to know that I don't work the way other people usually do. Or at least... my brain doesn't.  I mention on my profile that i think about weird things.... This of course, is no exception..

I know what they want to hear, and usually I'm kind enough to create something beautiful or passionate to say to them to please their expectations... But last night I just couldn't. I was thinking the most outlandish thing, so I could not stop myself from sharing it with him. He is laying there, thinking about me and us and what's going on in this newly formed relationship..... And I'm laying there thinking about how you could ride a roller coaster through a jungle by using a fence post rather than a motorised cart.
I should probably explain my thought process..... because my mind jumps from one weird thing to the next, leaving me with one big pile of the most insane thoughts that could ever run through a humans mind.
It stated by thinking about how much I would like to be riding a roller coaster instead of laying in bed, which moved my thoughts to the PS2 game Kingdom Hearts (One of the best games from my teenage years), and how cool it is when Tarzan slides down the tree trunks to get to the lower areas of that level. This then spurs my crazy brain forward to thinking about how much it would hurt to slide down the roller coaster tracks with your bare feet, So obviously, I imagined you were standing on a plank of wood. But then, balance comes to play...... You couldn't just have it straight across the two tracks.. because you would be propelled forward or backward.. so you'd have to turn it diagonally and try to ride it that way.

It was during this thought that Davyd decided to ask me what I was thinking about... And jeez did he get a surprising answer. No need to say that he wont be asking me that question again anytime soon!

Spitting Image

Life

It is 12:12am.  Alone, I am sitting on my couch taking in all that surrounds me. Darkness. The sound of rain. The dim screen light illuminating my face. The flashes of Lightning continue to engulf the darkness as the thunder drowns out Clair de Lune, which has played on repeat five times by now. Davyd Stockman and I talk about why we love those with so many flaws... and how it is those flaws that make someone so perfect in our eyes. We discuss life, like living it will occur some time in the future. In this present moment, our only concern is with what will occur, not what is occurring in front of our very eyes. Another lighting strike. Another repeat of Clair de Lune. More incessant rain. How could life appear so perfect in this single moment, when there is so much stress, concern, unanswered questions and unknown outcomes. It is these moments of clarity that submerge me in a sense of realisation... Whilst everything seems hazy, Life finds a way to show us why we are here. To observe. To listen. And to find beauty even in the darkest of nights.

It is 12.25 am. Alone, I am sitting on my couch taking in all that surrounds me. Darkness. Clair de Lune. The dim screen light illuminating my face... The rain has finally disappeared.

Sloth Love*

Dedicated to Brooke Amity Stamp.

SLOTH

SLOTH IN A BOX

TINY SLOTH

SHOULDER SLOTH

LIFE SLOTH

FLYING SLOTH

MOTHER TERESA SLOTH

WATER SLOTH

HUNGRY SLOTH

BIEBER SLOTH

SPACE SLOTH

CLINGY SLOTH

SCARIEST SLOTH I HAVE EVER SEEN!

* I actually have no love for the sloth.. Sadly, their extended limbs freak me out and their smeary black faces make me laugh.  Whilst finding these images meant me sifting through hundreds of freaky sloth photos from the internet, it was definitely worth the effort... Plus I used it as a way to procrastinate.. that I LOVE!

Keyboard Warriors

Over my lifetime, I've lived by the phrase "If you don't like what you see, don't look", and I think it's about time others start following suit. Basically, it means that if you see something and hate it, just stop bloody looking. Don't make it your business to comment on it, don't feel that its your responsibility to write horrible things to people or to stick your nose into something that in no way relates to you. Now, I know at times we ALL judge others on appearance, ability or actions. This is a natural human instinct. But I just do not understand the minds of Keyboard Warriors. They are those people you see writing cruel comments on people YouTubes, writing negative comments on Facebook and just being plain weak. Nothing said over a computer counts. Just as much as this doesn't count! Why cant people just be positive and optimistic? And stop making everything their problem! I'm sure your mothers told you that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. You aren't cool, strong or better than anyone if you become a keyboard warrior. You just become another person who no one cares about. Maybe it's time for you to start practising what your parents once preached.

Holding My Threads

Written By Moira Cotnoir

When I am not surrounded by It, I have no desire for It.
I dread It, I fault It, but as soon as I am somewhat in reach of It, I get pulled towards this pleasure that I know will leave me disappointed, ignorant and doubtful. It will take away the threads of my confidence that I had collected during my time away. These threads are what It pulls on to achieve what It has set out to do. Somehow It leaves with pride and arrogance, as if It has won a unique game of chess. According to It, I am unique. One of a kind. But I fail to see this. I wonder whether these words are used on others as "unique" as myself.

It knows the possibilities, It can read my thoughts and It knows my intentions before I do. Yet It watches me figure out what It evidently already knows. All that time spent juggling the pros and cons just seems like a step in order for It to achieve Its desired outcome.

At the end I am left feeling naive. I can't understand how It has won once again and although I wish to believe I'll know better next time, I am somewhat aware that I will meet It again and be captivated by this attractions It lays upon me.

With me writing this It wins again. So congratulations.

Taylor Allan

To my dearest Taylor Roscoe Allan,
I cannot believe you are finally twenty freaking one! I'm not really sure why it is more important than turning twenty but I'm gonna follow the crowd and make a huge deal out of it. From stupid years 10's who bonded over Kingdom Hearts to now. It has been so lovely sharing so many amazing and hilarious moments with you.
So I'm not sure where to start from... but the beginning seems like a great place to start. I remember being a little tyke in year seven and all the girls coming up to me like OMG TAYLOR!! there is a BOY TAYLOR! you guys should be friends. And I was all like pft whatever man! hahaha but then we bumped into each other and you were so excited that we ate Mars Bars the same (first the outside and the caramel, then the inside goodness), how could we not become amazing friends!
Throughout the entirety of high school we never once had a single class together (much to our disappointment) but we made up for it by eating ridiculous amounts of tomato sauce smothered Dim Sims and ruling that stupid corner near the English block.
An interesting fact about us - you were the first boys house I ever stayed at! and I lied to my mum and said I was actually staying at Jess's house hahaha. It was about that time that we became linked as bed buddies until pretty much right now haha. Which was always great because I knew you wouldn't pull any crazy moves on me at sleepovers..I totally couldn't trust those other boys hahah too many bad experiences... but in return my nasal cavities will NEVER be the same from your stinky morning farts hahahaha.
So from the orange juice incident (I'm actually wetting myself laughing just typing this) to the time after deb when you were jumping on your bed and smacked your head into the shelf whilst you were off your face, to singing Kelly bloody Clarkson whilst playing kings cup at schoolies, you have been the one single human that can make me laugh until I cry.. Except German... his nursery rhyme singing at schoolies pretty much made my life hahahahaha But in all seriousness, you were always there for a laugh and always there for me whenever I have needed you. You are by far the most loyal friend I have and I know I can trust you with absolutely anything. I know we have sucked at catching up in the last few years, but I cannot wait to share so many more hilarious memories with you. I love you to death.
Happy 21st Birthday. x