When I am not surrounded by It, I have no desire for It.
I dread It, I fault It, but as soon as I am somewhat in reach of It, I get pulled towards this pleasure that I know will leave me disappointed, ignorant and doubtful. It will take away the threads of my confidence that I had collected during my time away. These threads are what It pulls on to achieve what It has set out to do. Somehow It leaves with pride and arrogance, as if It has won a unique game of chess. According to It, I am unique. One of a kind. But I fail to see this. I wonder whether these words are used on others as "unique" as myself.
It knows the possibilities, It can read my thoughts and It knows my intentions before I do. Yet It watches me figure out what It evidently already knows. All that time spent juggling the pros and cons just seems like a step in order for It to achieve Its desired outcome.
At the end I am left feeling naive. I can't understand how It has won once again and although I wish to believe I'll know better next time, I am somewhat aware that I will meet It again and be captivated by this attractions It lays upon me.
With me writing this It wins again. So congratulations.
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