Monday 28 May 2012

You make my blood boil



Did you know that blood boils at 100°C? Yeah I didn’t either... but I have realised that I must be getting really hot and bothered recently due to the fact I can feel my blood boiling away under my skin. So many inconsiderate things that people do really grate on me! This may be the longest blog in existence... as I get annoyed and angry at many things, but ill keep it somewhat short and sweet. I swear you guys will hate them all too by the end of this if you don’t hate them already haha

PEOPLE WITH NO SPATIAL AWARENESS/NO CONCEPT OF THEIR SURROUNDINGS
Being a dancer, from a very young age I have been taught to be aware of my surroundings. And whilst at the time of learning, it was purely for unison movement and timing; it has begun to seep into everyday life. With this acute sense of spatial awareness you notice the people walking twenty feet ahead, you see the cars slowing to turn and you have the fine tuned ability to just sense there is someone waiting behind you. Now I’m not trying to say that dancers are superior, we have just been blessed with having to deal with it on a regular basis. BUT! Not everyone is as lucky as us. There are people in this world that literally have zero concept of what is going on around them and aren’t aware that they are not the only person in the world. And sorry to be a little bit racist... But I have to admit that it is usually foreigners or tourists that are now in Melbourne... That really make me want to scream and shout. Just the other day I was waiting in line for the ATM and the girl in front of me got her money, and then proceeded to put her bag up near the screen and scrounge through it trying to find her iPod.... I stood there for about a minute before I finally had to say, "Can you please do that somewhere else?". She literally had zero idea that there I was, standing right behind her for an extended period of time. Then there are the people that just stop in doorways. WHYYY?!?!?! Clearly that is a space for people that need to move in and out of the store OR tram. Don’t get on and just stand at the top of the tram steps. Move in because you aren’t the only person getting on! Hahaha even writing this I am getting more and more furious at how completely ignorant and oblivious some people are. Don’t cross a road without looking... because it is probable that you will die. Don’t just stop in the middle of a pathway where there are quite clearly people walking. Because if you end up standing in front of me I WILL make you look like a fool and embarrass you. My problem is I lack the virtue of patience with people who are just downright stupid. And that’s not being mean... I just generally don’t have time for people that clearly have zero sense of the world they live in. Eyes need to be opened people. Start noticing what’s going on around you and how inconsiderate you are being to others.... Then I won’t need to have a go at you when you do it to me hahaha... I feel I should end this here before I rage out of control.

 
PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CLOSE THEIR MOUTH WHEN THEY EAT
Oh... my... god... Talk about my biggest pet hate in all existence. This is something that makes me cringe and sick at the same time. Do not smack your lips, slurp your soup and chew with your mouth open. It is not good etiquette... and most of all, DO NOT DO IT ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT. ENOUGH SAID!


THE MELBOURNE MYKI SYSTEM
As already discussed  - CLICK HERE


PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW TRENDS TO LOOK COOL BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING THEY ACTUALLY ENJOY.
These people are the worst of the worst in my books. I just cannot comprehend trying to be something, or someone that you are not. These small things don’t actually change how people perceive you... If it makes you feel better, then go right ahead, but honestly... does it??? Listening to music that your friends like, so you can fit in is just one teeny tiny example. I listening to some ridiculous mix of pop/punk/electro/acoustic music where half the men sound like women and every band sounds like the one before.... But just because my friends listen to Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake and booty dance to Beyonce, doesn’t stop me from being their friend or from me begin theirs...I love that in the last year, The people who actually listen to triple J has burst through the roof... and I’m sorry if i offend people but half the music on that thing is terrible (the other half however can be pretty amazing) And the hosts are shocking and put people to sleep im sure of it. I am not going to start listening to it however, because my friends do. I don’t care if I don’t know every word to Lonely Boy by the black keys. It doesn’t change the person I am and no one should ever be so superficial as to only choose friends who listen to that music...Another thing ive noticed people do is watch a Television show they hate, but know it will make great conversation with the people they want to be in with. You know what... I LOVE SUPERNATURAL! It is the greatest show... I love the US version of the office better than the UK original and whilst some people think Game of thrones is really lame, you are crazy NOT seeing it!People, it is ok to be yourself and be unique... Following the rest of the crowd doesn’t make you stand out and doesn’t make you "cool" or "popular" We are out of those high school games so how about we all forget the idea of being popular and just be yourself!!

I have decided I have to end my blog here... but do not be surprised if a new post goes up with another list of all the things that make my body heat zoom to 100 Degrees...

Saturday 19 May 2012

Photography #1

So I started taking photographs this year.... of course I am a complete and utter noob with zero experience but I still volunteered to do some dancing photography for my good friend's little sister.
Since I have been dancing my whole life, it seemed only natural to try capturing it through a different medium, like the eye of an audience member capturing movement on stage. It was a great experience and I'm always looking for new people to capture.. though im yet to try headshots! I have posted a few for your enjoyment and hopefully there will be plenty more where they came from.. Enjoy!
















Wednesday 2 May 2012

Getting Creative


I know I'm a month late... But I decided on a whim to post this. Easter morning, my brother and sister were awoken by a slightly alternative present. I swapped the bunny for confectionary items all for a great excuse to write a zombie inspired short story. Enjoy uber noobs!

--------------------------THE 8TH OF APRIL 2012--------------------------
There’s Blood Everywhere. One second all was fine... sitting at my desk, drinking a can of coke whilst watching hilarious videos of fat people hurting themselves. The next second, Co-workers were ripping limbs off others, eating flesh and intestines, the power was out and all that could be heard were the sirens of far off help mixed up with the blood curdling screams of those around me.

I just ran. I had no idea where I was going, or who I was running from but I knew I had to hit the stairs, rocket down the 42 flights and somehow make it out of the city alive. Twice I tripped over shredded corpses, leaving my body covered in blood and me one step closer to becoming the next meal. I somehow managed to get down the stairs but the pandemonium that greeted me was just as bad. I have a feeling locking myself in the shower cubicle would have been a safer idea... The street was littered with bodies, People attacking others, Cops shooting anything that moved and the same blood curdling screams that I had heard all too much in the office building I assumed was safe. I ran down Elizabeth street, sweat dripping in my eyes, my stupid shoes had fallen off during the stair escapade, and I realise I had no phone and no contact to anyone who could possibly help.

I managed to hijack a car and made it home safely. I locked myself in, didn’t open up to my roommates and over the next few days I packed everything I thought I may need to survive the ongoing plague that has seemed to target the human race. The power is out. There is no hot water left. In fact all running water has ceased. It time to get moving, I’m thinking I will need to head north... Someplace up and out of the way... I think I may try to get to hanging rock and camp out till I hear anything more.

You finding this pack means I have either had my face ripped off, or hopefully, for my sake, I had to leave it behind. It holds many things that will help you on your journey. Keep it secret, Keep it safe! Each item holds special significance to your survival of what we have lovingly deemed “The Zombie Apocalypse”.
The Zombie blood I managed to collect... well you don’t want to know how I collected it. I heard it held special remedies to cure yourself if you were ever bitten... I didn’t want to take the chance but stored it specially anyway. Maybe you will be more game then I. The chews are a tasty snack that will raise your blood sugar levels and provide you with that extra hit of energy when chain sawing off one of those Bastard’s heads. The strontium is my own special mix of caffeine, high protein powder and nuclear goods the government gave me. I ran into a handful of them whilst moving to higher ground. Everything else inside will hopefully find some benefit to you, as it didn’t find any for me.​Stay away from the main roads and do not... DO NOT go into the city centre... They lied when they said that there was an army set up to help. You are well and truly on your own.​​​​​

                                                                                                                                       Good luck.
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Tuesday 1 May 2012

If it's not broken...


After three years of being a devoted Metcard user, with zero problems, zero fines and 100% satisfaction... I finally decided this morning to take the plunge. Icy, cold, and four hours later, still knocking the breath out of me... How did anyone ever consider Myki to be a great idea? What bright-eyed man put forth this terrible idea as a way of the transporting future for Melbourne? There are so many things wrong with the system... I cannot understand why they didn’t just scrap the idea when they realised it was failing over and over again. They are temperamental plastic cards and on the first morning of working myself up to use Myki, IT FAILED! I tried to touch off at Flinders Street Station... which of course was already completely packed due to rush hour and failing machines, and it just wouldn't let me touch off! I had 100% touched on, AND the people in front of me managed to touch off... but mine didn’t work. I had to go to two more machines before I finally could get out of the station. HOW IS THIS THE WAY OF MELBOURNE'S TRANSPORT FUTURE? To me it seems like a massive step in the wrong direction and here I was being forced to follow the pack. Not even one single day without errors, Myki is leaving a bad taste in my mouth...
There were so many other options the Myki developers could have gone with. Some kind of smart phone application where you scan a barcode and it records all the ins and outs of your Public Transport life (come to think of it, this idea could be even used by police to track people down or give you an airtight alibi) and keeps you up to date with your spendings. That would have been a smart idea... And for those who didn’t have smart phones.. CONTINUE TO USE THE METCARDS! That way, even tourists could get around our city without being awfully confused. To me, it seems like $1.3 Billion dollars wasted on a terrible idea that isn’t leading us into the future... Instead it is herding us into crammed walkways and blocking up what used to be a steady flow of commuters.
Melbourne, I love you, but you’re really pushing our friendship with this one. I am already unhappy after only one day and I know there are many others who are in the same boat as me. You know... The one that's slowly sinking and will lead us to certain Doom? Start listening to your people, otherwise the point of public transport (to cut down car omissions) will only jetpack us into the opposite direction. If I owned a car, I can guarantee I would be using it by now. The metcard wasn’t broken... so why did you try to fix it?